This may, or may not, come as a surprise to you, but blokes have a very specific set of culinary needs (not for us complicated lady diets involving hamster food and fresh fruit.) Out of these needs have been borne such delights as the Manwich and the Ladburger. More on these later! First, let us examine….

The three tenets of man food:

1) Simplicity - multi-tasking is a no no. Men need to be able to think of, carry out and attain their chosen tasks with the minimum of fuss. This edict spreads to the kitchen where men like fewer, rather than more, ingredients to mess with.

2) Meat - As all good Neanderthals men know, the essential ingredient to a satisfying meal involves an animal. Ideally, one which has been freshly wrestled to the ground by the man who is shortly afterwards turning it into food.

3) No Women - this is basic stuff. Say no more.

Anyway, the culmination of these three ideals has produced several wholesome, simple and unfussy man foods. In no particular order:

• The Manwich - Yes, you heard – this is the delicious and eminently edible bog-standard bacon sandwich, smothered in the sauce of manliness itself – HP Sauce! Two hunks of bread, buttered with some premium rashers. You wouldn’t want to get tomato sauce anywhere near this tasty little bad boy. No chance.

• The Ladburger - Similar to the Manwich, in that you need a buttered bap to start with. Add to that some fried onions, a juicy steak or beefburger, and a bit of mustard. Then – hey presto! Robert’s your aunty’s husband….

• The Blokebite - Essentially fancy cheese on toast. Mix some diced onion together with mustard and a manly bit of HP Sauce and smear it over a bit of toast. Add cheese and some fried mushrooms and grill until melted.

So men – keep it simple, keep it meaty and keep those women out of the kitchen. This is man food.